30 Days of Gratitude - Day 3 & 4

This may sound a little strange, but today I am grateful for Renaissance Faires. This weekend I am visiting the Texas Renaissance Faire with a friend of mine who came down from DC. This weekend's theme is Roman Bachanal. We are not dressing up as Romans or in Togas, however, we will be in some form of appropriate Ren Faire attire.

The reason I am grateful for these faires, is it allows me the opportunity to dress up and be silly and have fun people watching. I get to spend time with very interesting folks and just be in the moment. It also is making me learn to accept myself and not take myself too seriously. Since, I have spent years and years worrying about what complete strangers think about me and what they are saying about me (yeah, I'm a wee bit paranoid and I know that it is silly and self centered to think that anybody out there is even paying me any mind, but the voices in my head will go rampant at times and I'm working through that) so 'forcing' myself to dress up and go to these faires makes me accept that I don't care what others think of me as long as I am having fun and am loving myself, that is all that REALLY matters.

I am grateful for these times to work on accepting myself. 

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 2

Today I am grateful for Medical Technology.

I went in last Friday and had my annual mammogram, and yeah, I'm sure a lot of you all don't want to know this. However, the doctor's office called on Monday saying that they needed to have me come back for another view of Poncho (and yes, I've named "them"....Poncho and Lefty). I just assumed that the image was just screwed up somehow and didn't really think anything of it.

I went in on Wednesday for the retakes. Turns out that the radiologist saw an anomaly and wanted to take additional shots and possible do a sonogram. Well, this, understandably, started freaking me out just a little bit. And when they took me back to the room for the shots they have the image up on the screen with a spot circled with big arrows pointing to it. Not a good sign, in my opinion.

Well, the technician comes in, and she is a very sweet woman and she made every effort to be considerate and gentle with me, but there is only so much gentleness that you can have when you are smushing a boob into a pancake....multiple times. She took the first set of pictures and uploaded them and contacted the radiologist, who requested some additional views...I am of course getting more and more freaked out and automatically my mind goes to the worst possible scenario and I'm thinking "Who is going to come help take care of me if I have to have chemo? Will I be able to still work because I don't think I would be able to make if financially on my partial salary? Will I get the reconstructive surgery? Who will take care of Leo while I'm recovering?" Yeah, I pretty much have a little freak-out in my head...although with the technician I'm cool and calm and still making jokes.

After the radiologist sees the second round of images, she determines that there isn't a need for a sonogram and they set up a video chat with me so that she can tell me what her findings are. It turns out that there was a spot that she saw on the images from last year that looked to be larger this year, but after all of the additional shots it does not look to be anything to be concerned about and she gave me a "clean" bill of boob health.

I still have the questions going through my mind about "what if" but those will just have to wait until another time to be too much of a concern. I do hope that all of you out there are taking the necessary steps to stay healthy and that you get your annual mammograms, if applicable. 

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 8

So close to getting through these....

1. Have a nude portrait done by a sensitive female photographer. (Why? I don't care how 'sensitive' she is I do not see the purpose in share my nudiness with anybody besides my doctor...and even then I have a paper dress on.)
2. Go gray for a month. (Well, as soon as I start going gray, I'll just stay that color. Heck, I may even dye myself gray if I start going splotchy. I've seen some women out there with gorgeous heads of gray hair and admit that I am envious of them.)
3. Dance under a full moon with a gaggle of cackling women. (Sara - Do we know if the weekend of your girls' weekend falls on the night of a full moon?!?)
4. Read a book on astrophysics or molecular biology from cover to cover. (Only if it comes as a pop-up book with movable parts....)
5. Realize you are not merely your body. (I know I am so much more than just my body, but sadly the body seems to control so much of who I am and is refusing to let go of that...)
6. Create a comfort station at work or home stocked with things you love: Jujubes, cucumber hand cream, cherry blossom tea, a special letter or picture. (I have no need to do this... My whole home is my comfort station and it only becomes less so when I have company over. At the office, well, there just isn't the need to get that comfortable there...)
7. Create an altar in honor of your female ancestors and mentors. (This I need to plan out. I have the perfect spot for it...)
8. Write three haiku poems about your most amazing, horrible, and baffling sexual experiences and frame them for your boudoir. (Okay, so I may write these haikus, and more, but they will be going the same place as the nude portrait by the 'sensitive female photographer'.)
9. Be the boss of someone who is bigger and has a deeper voice than you. (I have already done this and realized that no matter who the person is, I do not enjoy being a boss and will make every effort to not be a boss again in the future.)
10. Rent a tuxedo. (Hmmm, I think I know what I'm wearing to a certain wedding now....)

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 1

I just saw on Sara's blog that she is doing 30 Days of Thankful, which has inspired me to do something similar, but call it "gratitude" instead just because I like that word better. The issue, though, is that I haven't given it any thought, really as to what I am grateful for. 

So the first thing I came to think of is that I'm grateful that I have a job. Following that thought process, I went back to who I once had a job with, and it was with Perot Systems, owned by Ross Perot. I have mad respect for this man and his ideas. He is a true American and I am grateful every day that I am privileged to see how the rest of the world also respects this man when I come to the office and walk past all of  awards and letters and statues that grace the halls of my office building. I also love the fact that this man still comes into the office every day and works. I see him down in the cafeteria every day at lunch and he always, ALWAYS, has a smile for people and says "Howdy" to them. His ideals of hard work and respect for others makes me want to do the best that I can. 

A couple of weeks ago there was a reception in the cafeteria honoring Mr. Perot and his contributions to the soon to be opened Perot Museum of Nature and Science here in Dallas. The museum makes me with that I had kids so that I could purchase a family pass and go spend hours upon hours there. 

However, there is one thing that Mr. Perot and I differ on, and that is our politics, but I respect his choices. 

Live One Day At a Time

I am certain you are all experiencing this as well....the influx of catalogs in preparation for the mad, holiday, gift-giving season. I, sadly, will peruse each one that I get and at times will even make the mistake of sub-coming to my baser needs and purchase a thing or two (or more as had happened in the past). I will also look through these catalogs and see things that I think certain people in my life would appreciate (or not depending on the item). I enjoy being reminded by all of the people in my life based on what products I find in these catalogs. I also see lots of stuff that I would like and wonder if anybody out there is seeing it as well and thinking "that would be great for ABBA".

So, with that being said, I was looking through one such catalog and came across a plaque that had the following on it. Now, the plaque itself is not something that I would want to have, however, the words on it really touched me and I knew that I wanted to share them....

Live One Day at a Time and Make It a Masterpiece

Avoid negative sources, people, places, and habits
Believe in yourself
Consider things from every angle
Don't give up and don't give in
Everything you are looking for lies behind the mask you wear
Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches
Give more then you planned to
Hang on to your dreams
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
Keep trying no matter how hard it seems
Love yourself
Make it happen
Never lie, steal, or cheat
Open you arms to change, but don't let go of your values
Practice makes perfect
Quality not quantity in anything you do
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
Stop Procrastinating
Take control of your own destiny
Understand yourself in order to better understand others
Visualize
When you lose, don't lose the lesson
Xcellence in all your efforts
You are unique, nothing can replace you
Zero in on your talent and go for it.

A to Zen of Life....

Life After People

I've been working from home today and have had the History Channel marathon of the show Life After People on in the background. This show definitely makes you think about the impact that man has had on this planet and how long will that mark last. The premise is that all of human life disappears in the blink of an eye. People didn't suddenly die so there aren't billions of bodies lying around decaying. However, there are cars left in the middle of highways or roads and everything that is automated just keeps running...until power dies.

The show starts off counting down 1 hour, 3 hour, 1 day, 1 week, etc. and takes the viewer around the world and shows what will happen to buildings, infrastructure, etc. without humans around to maintain them. It also talks about flora and fauna and what human's impact (or lack) has had on their environments.

The shows also take a look at some areas that have been abandoned so that we can see what the impact would be. And it gives an insight into our past and what the planet's future could be.

I highly recommend this series, if you ever get the chance to catch it.

This will come as a shock to you, though, the thing that makes me saddest is when they talk about domesticated pets, and dogs in particular, and how they will be trapped in their houses and may not be able to get out and if they do manage to escape, they are not trained to survive on their own and that as humans we have caused this....of course, all I can think of is what would happen to my sweet baby if I just didn't come home one day.