If Challenge (8/13)

Question: If you had to spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?

Answer: This is very apropos as I am currently reading the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed.

In this book she takes off hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, which goes from Mexico to Washington across the tops of the Sierra and Cascade mountain ranges. She carries everything she needs on her back and just hikes and camps and then comes to little outposts where she has mailed a fresh supply of food. She is doing this hike to 'find' herself. I find it to be really fascinating and sometimes wonder if it is something that I could do. I've also wondered what it would be like to hike the length of the Appalachian Trail. Both trails are well over 2,000 miles (2,663 and 2,200 respectively), and since I am very much not a hiker or camper, I doubt if I would ever do it. Besides, with my luck, I'd get confused and lost (I mean I do that whenever I step outside of a hotel room and turn the wrong direction) that I would end up like the guy (Christopher McCandless) from the book Into the Wild.

But whether I could do it or not isn't really the question. Therefore, I really think taking a year off and hiking along both of these trails would be fun. I mean, each would take probably 6 months for me to complete and the question doesn't say if it has to be a consecutive 12 months, does it? It would have to be somewhere that I could have touch points with civilization as I do not think I could completely live off the land and kill for my survival, but rather, if I could carry food on my back and know that I would be able to refuel periodically (and hopefully stay in a cabin or motel and maybe get a shower once in a while) then I might be up for it.

Is this now on my bucket list? Maybe....

What a Woman Should Do - Part 9 and 10

I"m putting the final 18 all in one list...Be prepared.

1. Explore your inner pagan by creating your own seasonal rituals: 
2. At the spring equinox, detox with a juice fast, sauna, and deep muscle massage. (I could definitely do this. March will become the cleansing month.)
3. At the summer solstice, hire a manicurist to give pedicures to you and four friends while your pampered klatch sips mint juleps. (Look out June...there's going to be some fancy feet and liquor flowing.)
4. At the fall equinox, organize a black-clad, beatnik poetry reading with the themes of rain, dissolution, and romance. (Who will join me come September?)
5. At the winter solstice, plant a circle of globed candles in a snowdrift and make wishes every night until they burn out. (Looks like there will be a trip to colder climes come December.... Anybody want to join?)
6. Do Stevie Nicks on karaoke - sober. (Well, I sang Olivia Newton John on karaoke not sober and I sing Stevie Nicks sober in the car....why not mesh the two together...)
7. Read James Joyce to telemarketers. (Oh how I would love to do this....if only I didn't want to just get off the phone as quickly as possible.)
8. Stick your nose where it doesn't belong to stop child or animal abuse. (This would take some cajones, but I think I would do it.)
9. Eschew a job for a career. (I've tried to to this...not very successfully.)
10. Eschew a career for a job. (I'm working on this one.)
11. Buy one significant piece of original art. (Do I have to buy it? Can't I make it?)
12. Kiss a girl. (If you are talking kiss as in "kiss", I'll pass. It just doesn't interest me.)
13. Lead a protest or commit an act of civil disobedience. (Who am I? Walt Whitman?)
14. Forgive the unforgivable. (It is not my place to pass judgement on any living creature. All I can promise is that I will work to forgive wrongs done against me.)
15. Embrace change. (Every day. All day. If we aren't changing and growing and accepting and embracing the changes within and around us, then we are dead.)
16. Drop cable to spend the money on a $50 bottle of champagne each month. (Heck, I'm dropping cable just to not have that in my life any longer and to have that time that I waste in front of the television back to focus on other things like reading and quilting and becoming me....the extra money is just a bonus and who knows champagne may be involved.)
17. Abandon self-doubt. (So very hard to do, but worth the work and I am working it.)
18. Give birth to your heart's deepest desire and develop postnatal amnesia about the pain so you can do it again. (Since I haven't had children, and will not be having children, I don't know what that pain feels like. However, with the creation of anything there is some pain anyway and at this point in time I am willing to face that pain and embrace it....as soon as I figure out what my heart's deepest desire actually is.)

That is all of the things that a woman supposedly should do. Thoughts? 

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 8

So close to getting through these....

1. Have a nude portrait done by a sensitive female photographer. (Why? I don't care how 'sensitive' she is I do not see the purpose in share my nudiness with anybody besides my doctor...and even then I have a paper dress on.)
2. Go gray for a month. (Well, as soon as I start going gray, I'll just stay that color. Heck, I may even dye myself gray if I start going splotchy. I've seen some women out there with gorgeous heads of gray hair and admit that I am envious of them.)
3. Dance under a full moon with a gaggle of cackling women. (Sara - Do we know if the weekend of your girls' weekend falls on the night of a full moon?!?)
4. Read a book on astrophysics or molecular biology from cover to cover. (Only if it comes as a pop-up book with movable parts....)
5. Realize you are not merely your body. (I know I am so much more than just my body, but sadly the body seems to control so much of who I am and is refusing to let go of that...)
6. Create a comfort station at work or home stocked with things you love: Jujubes, cucumber hand cream, cherry blossom tea, a special letter or picture. (I have no need to do this... My whole home is my comfort station and it only becomes less so when I have company over. At the office, well, there just isn't the need to get that comfortable there...)
7. Create an altar in honor of your female ancestors and mentors. (This I need to plan out. I have the perfect spot for it...)
8. Write three haiku poems about your most amazing, horrible, and baffling sexual experiences and frame them for your boudoir. (Okay, so I may write these haikus, and more, but they will be going the same place as the nude portrait by the 'sensitive female photographer'.)
9. Be the boss of someone who is bigger and has a deeper voice than you. (I have already done this and realized that no matter who the person is, I do not enjoy being a boss and will make every effort to not be a boss again in the future.)
10. Rent a tuxedo. (Hmmm, I think I know what I'm wearing to a certain wedding now....)

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 7

They just keep coming....

1. Rent a car for an hour at the local racetrack. (This might be appealing if I were a speed freak, but in all honesty I would rather take that money and buy another tandem jump out of an airplane.)
2. Remember life is too short for ironing, nonfat dairy creamer, and regret of any kind. (Well, I've already given up on ironing my clothes; the only thing I iron anymore is fabric for quilts. I don't drink coffee and therefore do not have a need for fatted dairy creamer let alone nonfat. I just need to stop having regrets and just live....)
3. Learn how to make a decadent chocolate mousse with tofu. (Why? You just told me that life is too short for nonfat creamer so why in the {bleep} would I want to make ANYTHING with tofu?!? I would rather spend that time learning how to make a decadent chocolate mousse out of actual chocolate.)
4. Write an autobiography about the life you didn't choose. (I can't wait to get started on this one....but wouldn't that just be called 'fiction'?)
5. Smuggle good scotch to your (or someone else's) dad in the nursing home. (Wouldn't be much point in that since I don't think my dad is a scotch drinker and I really don't think it would be the wisest thing to do as it could impact a person's medication, among other things. I have a story about something similar that just may end up in my autobiography...)
6. Start a food fight. (Wow, this person is really not hitting them on this round. I think food fights are completely senseless and such a waste. I could get on my soapbox and bemoan the fate of the world and the starving children that are out there. But, to be honest, I just don't like the idea of being hit with food. It happened once and I hope to never have it happen again....Well, unless I am participating in the remake of Animal House and I am playing Bluto, the John Belushi character.)
7. Showcase a hobby you feel passionate about on public access cable television. (I think probably in this day and age I would have to make a YouTube video instead...I'll keep you posted on my debut.)
8. Practice telepathy with your cat. (Yeah, that would require that I get a cat. However, I often practice it with Leo.)
9. Change one thing about your life  that you've accepted. (Working on that. Will provide progress updates at some point.)
10. Accept one thing about your life that you've tried to change. (Funny...I'm sorta working on this one as well.)

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 6

Just a few more to go....

1. Bring a fried chicken and potato salad to the exhausted ER crew that has to work on the Fourth of July. (I really like this idea, however, I don't think I could afford to feed the ER crew at some of the hospitals...maybe a small one in the country. Also, a person would need to research if it would even be possible to do this. If I recall correctly, my mom once packed up all of the left over cookies and cakes and pies that hadn't been touched a couple of days after Christmas a few years past and took them to the local fire department to treat those heroes only to be turned away because they could no longer accept food gifts for fear of being poisoned or some such nonsense...like my mom is a terrorist.)
2. Adopt a hairstyle you know everyone will hate but that you like anyway. (Well, I did this in high school when I rocked the asymmetrical-Cyndi Lauper-do with the rat tail. However, as an adult I may very well consider this in the coming decade. I think I would love to have a pink mohawk!!)
3. Grow at least three Victorian flowers - like peonies, phlox, and foxglove - to make a lovely nosegay. (I think I would need to take a much smaller baby step and start with trying to grow a single plant that does not die or require being rescued by my mother...)
4. Look up the definition of "nosegay" and use it in a sentence. (Ok, here goes... "I'm certain that Sara will carry a lovely nosegay at her wedding.")
5. Learn the names and at least one tradition of the Native Americans that originally lived near your home. (I am so up for this one...although I'm not certain if learning to play Bingo at the Choctaw casino really counts as learning a tradition.)
6. Make friends with silence and solitude without having to get sick first. (I'm actually really good with solitude and silence is something that I'm sinking into. I often times will drive to and from work without the radio on in the car. It is nice to sit and just be with your own thoughts.)
7. Write a love letter that you know has the power to change someone's life. (In general I need to start writing more letters, and yes I've been saying that since I was probably 8. In my opinion, a love letter does not have to be to a 'lover' but can be to anyone to whom you wish to express your love to, for example a parent, sibling, friend.)
8. Burn a CD with music you want played at your wake or funeral; baffle generations to come by including the rap song "I Like Big Butts". (I'm starting on this today!!)
9. Cry in the rain. (Duh.... I've cried in the rain, in the sun, in the fog, in the snow, and in probably every other type of weather...)
10. Accept your luminous, inimitable talents. (I'm trying really hard to do this.)

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 5

Slowly getting through all of these!!

1. Interview three plastic surgeons and tell them why your body's flaws are precious to you. (I would do this if 1. I didn't think I would have to pay a co-pay. And 2. I was sure enough with myself that I wouldn't get talked into their evil scheme...I am such a sucker for a sales pitch.)
2. Refuse to settle down. (Okay. So that is the reason I haven't settled on somebody...and also probably why even with being a home owner I'm wanting to move into a new place... thinking about my next step and how to relocate out to a piece of land in New Mexico or Arizona or Wyoming...)
3. Wear a fedora in public. (Sorry, I did this fashion statement when I was in high school. I have to say that I can rock the hat look, I just don't think it is necessary to do it again at this age. I'll stick with my floppy sun hats from now on.)
4. Tell only the truth to a child. (I try to do this with children and adults, however, I don't know if a child asked me about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy if I would be able to tell them the truth. I don't want to be the heart breaker in their stories.)
5. Tell the waitress at Denny's that the lines on her palm indicate she is destined for greatness. (Really? I would much rather leave her a big tip and write her a note saying thank you for all that you do.)
6. Whisper your darkest secrets to a beloved tree. (I think my mom does this already with their giant oak tree in their yard...not that she has dark secrets. Personally, I just whisper them to Leo. He looks at me with his golden eyes and licks my cheek. I'll take that as his way of forgiving me and cleansing my soul.)
7. Let someone make love to you in a fragrant field of sweet grass at dusk in late summer. (I think this probably goes hand in hand with the previous picnic one. This really does not appeal to me for a number of reasons...aside from the whole idea of being neked in public there is the thought of chiggers and mosquitoes and private places.... I'll just stick to nice fresh clean sheets, thank you very much.)
8. Invite an old rival to tea and talk frankly about the past and the present. (Again, these are great in theory, but I can't think of an "old rival" that I really need to hash over the past with in order to move into and through the present. Most "rivals" are either out of my life for good or the rivalry was petty and no longer there.)
9. Learn to recognize at least one constellation year-round. (Done! I can find the big dipper, or is it the little dipper, fairly quickly. And, to be honest, I would rather just stare at the stars and enjoy their beauty and dream than try and visualize the wacky creatures and gods that the ancients attributed to them.)
10. Rent a luxury hotel room for a night alone. (I've done this on certain levels. What I'd really like to do is rent a luxury hotel room for a night, or a weekend or week, and bask in the luxury with somebody special.)

I'm starting to sense a theme here that requires a partner... Or maybe, I'm just sensing, once again, my own personal need for a partner and therefore projecting a possible theme. 

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 4

Next round...

1. Apply for a scholarship to an art, literary, or spiritual retreat that intrigues you. (I have and will go to said retreats, however, I will probably not apply for a scholarship. I will afford to pay my own way and leave the scholarship money for those artists out there that are less fortunate that I.)
2. Design a picnic around aphrodisiacs - raw oysters, champagne, rose petal jam on chocolate fingers - then whisper in another's ear the sensual images that passing clouds suggest. (Well, if the belly dancing lessons lead to something, this might be a possibility. However, it is unlikely that I would have have some of these foods at a picnic...champagne, yes....but more than likely I would go with some crusty bread and soft cheese and prosciutto with some melon and spiced almonds, or something along those lines.)
3. Be someone's fairy godmother. Wand optional. (I think I've accomplished this already...no details required.)
4. Write an unauthorized biography of your family, including embarrassing photos, a tribute to the infamous black sheep, and favorite recipes. (Who says I haven't already started this?!? I just need to give a couple of my relatives a chance to pass on to the happily ever after. I love the idea about adding some of the favorite recipes as so many of our family's lives revolve around meals!!)
5. Serve something flambe. (Ummm. No. I'm not a big fan of fire and am a challenged cook as it is and do not think combining the two is such a great idea.....Now I can serve something charred and blackened without issue....)
6. On the hottest day in August donate matinee tickets to a movie in an air-conditioned theater to kids in a homeless shelter. (This is a great idea. I have a year to start saving up for this.)
7. Develop a substantial cackle big enough to grow into as you age - A cackle is a giggle with seniority. (I am already working on this!! I love the idea of aging with a great laugh!!)
8. Flirt with a flight attendant just for the hell of it - It's nicer than air rage. (Why would I do this? To me this would just annoy the other flyers as it takes up the flight attendant's time. I would rather just be nice to everyone and not bother with the flirting, innuendos, or double entendres.)
9. Conquer one fear each year. (This past year I would say I did that with sky diving. Not to say I had an actual fear about that. I guess I need to sit down and figure out what exactly my fears are. I know there is the one about fire, but to be honest who doesn't have a little fear of fire? I have a fear of public speaking, but I conquer that on a regular basis each time I get up and perform training or give a presentation. This one will take some pondering. 
10. Play the sax or cello or learn at least one aria or gospel song. (These are just getting wackier and more pointless. I already play the flute, or rather I did play the flute. Why single out the sax or the cello? Why would I want to learn an aria? I do not have a pretty singing voice, and I accept that. Now a gospel song, I can get into learning one of those...maybe.)

We are almost halfway there.... I can hardly wait to see what the next batch gives us. 

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 3

I've been a bit remiss on keeping up with this string of posts....

Here are the next on the list:

1. Teach someone, besides a child, to read. (I have actually thought about following up with an Adult Literacy Program and see how I may help.)
2. Invent a punch that will raise eyebrows and lower inhibitions. (I may not have invented it, but there are a couple of punch and sangria recipes that I have embellished on that have led to some serious moments of lowered inhibitions.)
3. Don't indulge in one judgmental thought for an entire day. Okay, an hour. (I'm assuming that this should probably occur during waking hours as I rarely have jugemental dreams. I actually am trying really hard to follow this one. I'm really working on creating a positive spirit and part of that would include not judging others. I have to say, though, it is tough.)
4. Learn a few choice phrases in French or Russian to use when flirting or angry. (Done and done. I may not be saying them correctly, but the French flirting phrases I learned in high school and from Patti Labelle (Lady Marmalade). I know a single Russian phrase that I learned from a co-worker a couple of years back. I have to trust him on what it means but I'm either cussing somebody, sneezing, or asking for some cheese.)
5. Stay in a convent for a week. (Is this even possible? I may actually look into this. Not that I have any interest in becoming a nun, but to spend a week in quiet contemplation and intentional work sounds intriguing to me.)
6. Ride a motorcycle alone across the Nevada desert. (Sorry. I really do not have any desire to do this. I'm not a motorcycle gal, although I know some of you out there are and I tip my hat to you. I wouldn't mind driving a convertible across the desert and through the mountains and around the country alone....at peace with my self with no real destination and no real time frame in which to make the trip...)
7. Make wine from dandelions growing in your backyard and send it to the CEO of Greener Chemical Lawns, Inc. (First, I don't have dandelions growing in my backyard. Second, I believe it is illegal to ship liquids without a permit within the United States. Third, I really am not interested in making wine, I think that would require a lot of pots...)
8. Start a wild rumor that something wonderful will happen later this year. (Okay, now these are just getting a little ridiculous. Nobody ever believes rumors about good things happening, only bad things...)
9. Squeeze a cute fireman because it's "Public Hero Appreciation Day". (So, I googled Public Hero Appreciation Day, and did not find it, however, it looks like September 11 is often referred to as Hero Appreciation Day, although I don't think it is "official" yet...or it hasn't made my Odd Holidays Calendar. I guess this is actually saying to just go up to a cute fireman any day and claim it to be appreciation day. However, what about the not so cute firemen? Do they not deserve the squeezing and appreciation as well? Or is it just that all firemen are cute because they are heros no matter what they actually look like?)
10. Learn to belly dance and integrate it into your lovemaking. (I am so going to do this...well, the learn to belly dance part. Maybe if I learn to belly dance, then I'll have the confidence to pursue finding somebody and then start working on the second part of that.)

Stay tuned for the next round coming soon...

Things a Woman Should Do - Part 2

As stated in last week's post, I would continue on with the list of things that a woman should do according to this book:

So, here is the next batch:

1. Order a whole Peking duck when dining out alone. (Yeah, I think I will be passing on this. I have no desire to have Peking duck when dining alone or with others.)
2. Cultivate savoir faire - an effortless knack for saying or doing just the right thing in any situation. (Hmmm, this may take some work..."effortless"? Yeah, I doubt if I'll ever get there.)
3. Go a month without shaving your legs. (I could SOOO get into doing this. I'll need to shoot for a month when it isn't shorts weather, so looks like it will probably be December...)
4. Buy a really expensive well-made pair of boots. (I've already started a savings plan to do this. Look out Lucchese or Ariat or Justin...)
5. Write your own erotica. (Hmm.... I plead the fifth on this one. )
6. If you're lucky, learn to do one good impression, say, of Clint Eastwood; well, do you feel lucky, punk? (Well, I've already mastered my impression of a mime...I do a killer 'walk against the wind'.)
7. Release one grudge a month. (This will be really good to do as it will lighten the dark clouds on my soul. This month I will release the grudge that I've been carrying against....well, hmm, I really can't think of a grudge that I've been carrying. Anybody know of one that they could suggest?)
8. Organize a day spa for women living at a domestic violence shelter with services donated from a local beauty school. (This is a great idea. In the meantime, I'll just work to help organize a spa day in the near future for a certain somebody's special weekend.)
9. Audition for community theater. (So, I don't really want to audition for the theater, but I think it would be great fun to volunteer to help out backstage or with costumes or something...)
10. Get published. (Well, this HAS been one of my life-long dreams and while I have self-published a newsletter in college and have published a couple of internal manuals and books for work, I still want to publish my own book....Must get to work on that.)

That's it for now....

Things a Woman Should Do

I recently came across the little book 98 Things a Woman Should Do in Her Lifetime:

Here is the first 10  and whether I have done it or plan to:

1. Allow your chewy, salty heart to be marinated in the tender juices of a younger man's obsession. (I think I sorta did this when I was in 8th grade and was "going steady" with Paul Cline, who was in 7th grade.)
2. Run for office, win, and then resign in a grand gesture of moral indigestion. (I really have no interest in running for any office...although maybe as part of a guild or club.... hmm, something to think about.)
3. Ride a train through Europe (better yet, the Orient Express). (So, when I went to Europe in high school we did ride the train from Nice to Paris. However, I think now, as an adult I think riding the Orient Express may make it to my bucket list.)
4. Say grace to the Goddess. (This is a special challenge as it digs at what I believe or don't believe. Can I just say that I say grace to "the powers" and be done with it?)
5. Vote from lust. (I admit, I did this. I won't say who or when, but guilty as charged.)
6. Tell Richard Simmons to just shut up and sit down. (Oh, I've done this one...yeah, it was to the television while I sat and ate cookies, but whatever. I've also done it to Billy Blanks for Tae Boe, Jane Fonda, the Zumba bitches and pretty much every other workout DVD star that I have purchased.)
7. Paint a mural of your imagined past lives. (I haven't done this yet, but I take this as a challenge to represent it in a series of quilts.)
8. Buy a pair of castanets and learn to use them. (I wish I had done this when I still lived at home, just to annoy the parents...now I might do it to freak the dog out.)
9. Sing to a child. (Umm, yeah, nobody wants me to sing to them. What if I read to a child, because I do that all the time when I go and visit my friend's kid and did it for my niece and nephew when they were wee ones.)
10. Sing to a dying parent. (Okay, I can do this...many years from now. Mom and Dad - Look out. Hopefully you all will have gone full on deaf by that point. Do you have any requests? OR, maybe you should be worried if I ever do start singing to you, because that may be when we start planning that trip to Alaska to get you set up on your ice floe....)

I'll share some more of these gems at another date and time. But in the meantime, all you women out there (and men as well) have you done any or all of these?