What To Do....

I am constantly struggling with finding my path in life...my purpose....my raison d'être. This is something that I've been struggling with since college and my current spot in life is really one that I basically stumbled into. My choice in colleges was based on a football game. My degree was based on the fact that I just needed to pick something and get a degree since I was doing it all on my parents' dime and they were only so patient in letting me dilly dally around in school trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I got my first real job because I needed to have insurance. From there, for the most part, jobs came to me because I knew somebody who liked the job that I did and would hire me away from my previous position.. I really only sought out a couple of jobs....everything else just kinda happened to me, not that I can really complain because it has allowed me to have a pretty good life. 

However, that doesn't really help with my search. I mean deep down, as many of you are aware, I want to be an artist...but how to do that and continue to earn a living and not become a drain on the rest of societ in my later years. So, for the time being, I've implemented a mandate on my own time that inset aside a certain amount of time every day to be creative and to feed that inner artist. Primarily, I set a timer mid-morning and go up to my studio and sew for 25 minutes each morning. I know I should probably feel guilty doing this, but I justify it by telling myself that if I were going into the office that time would have been spent visiting or, if I were a smoker, going and taking my smoking breaks...I just take sewing breaks. 

So, along with these thoughts, there are so many other things that are on my mind....do I find a way to downsize....do I move....how do I find my zen? Today, I watched a couple of documentaries that made me stop and think about these things again. First, I watched one called "A Mile, Mile and a Half". This movie was about this group of hikers who hike The John Muir Trail in Yosemite. Watching this makes me want to get all athletic and outdoorsy and take up camping and hiking and take a month off and go rough it through the mountains....won't happen, but I can dream. 

The other documentary that I watched was on tiny house movement and this is something that I could actually consider...okay, maybe not a tiny house, but downsizing to something more reasonable and getting rid of so much of my stuff.... This movie really made me think, again, about how ridiculous it is the way I buy things...I have way more than I ever will need or use....except fabric. So, do I start taking steps towards downsizing? And if yes, what to do first...