How Often Have You Googled Yourself?

So, this evening I'm sitting on my couch watching America's Best Dance Crew (I know, lame, lame, but whatever) and while the crews are dancing I'm just surfing away on my pretty MacBook. 

Well, I started out googling old boyfriends, because I am very lame, as mentioned above. Then I decided to google myself just to see what was out there in cyber space about me and well I learned the following things about me, or rather those other people out there that share my name....

1. I am a lyricist and wrote the lyrics in Sleeping Beauty: The Time-traveler and Her New Millennium Prince. Actually, I seem to be listed as the lyricist on a number of items. I must ROCK at writing lyrics!! 

2. I am the wife of a guy killed by a serial killer in a book called Nobody True by James Herbert. 

3. I am the co-editor of the newsletter Technically Write (which is actually true, I did co-edit that newsletter many moons ago). 

4. I am 17 and recently moved to Arizona from Alaska. 

5. I am on the board of the Creative Alliance along with my husband. 

6. I am the "matron" for the Acute Medicine and Therapies department for some medical facility out there in the world. 

7. I am the CDM Coordinator at Taylor Young and Owner in the UK. 

8. I do public relations for some company. 

9. I work for the Northern Counties School and we have an action plan based on the OFSTED Inspection that was carried out by three of Her Majesty's Inspectors. 

10. In September 2007, I had 2 tickets to the Atmosphere show for sale on craigslist in Grand Rapids. 

I learned all of this after only 2 pages of googleness. I also came across somebody's MySpace page that was in memory of some guy name James Martin. The eerie thing about this is I graduated from James Martin High School...freaky, huh? 

Okay, maybe none of this is as interesting to anybody else but me, but for a quiet Friday night, I could have done worse....

Kate Spade is Trying to Kill Me

Okay, before any of you go calling the police that there is a conspiracy on my life, let me state that I do not actually know Kate Spade or if she is a real person, but shoes that I have puchased at her store are actually trying to kill me.

Let me give you a little background. I love shoes. I love looking at shoes. I love trying on shoes. I love buying shoes. I reward myself with shoes (and books, and music, and jewelry, and food but that is for another day). Everytime I go out to the Stanford Mall I have to go by the Kate Spade store and go all dreamy over the shoes that they have. Last summer I happened upon a sale there where I purchased my first pair of Kate Spades (a beautiful pair of 3 1/2 inch heels with a cream and tan calf hair pattern). They were on sale, which is the only way I could possibly afford them and I thought I had gotten a pretty good deal, although I won't say how much I paid.

So, over the last couple of weeks while I had the Queen visiting me, she and I had to go out to the mall and eat at Long Life Noodle and pick up t-shirts for her to take back to Plano with her. Of course, we walk past Kate Spade and like a Siren song I am pulled into the store. I walk over to their display of shoes and pick up this wonderful pair of heels that are a tan leopard print. I turn them over to look at the price and I think my heart actually stopped. The original price listed was $390. Under that price was another sticker that said $50. I asked the clerk if that was the actual price or just how much was being knocked off. The answer came back with "that's the price". Well, I HAD to try them on and of the 3 pairs that they had remaining they actually had my size. As I was putting them on the clerk asked "how do they feel" and my reply was "it doesn't matter, they are beautiful!" So, needless to say, I purchased them.

Now you may be asking yourself, "so why is Kate Spade trying to kill you?"

Well, I wore my wonderful new leopard print 3 1/2 inch pumps to work yesterday, not thinking that I would have to trudge up the hill to the other office building at least once. As I'm walking in the door first thing in the morning with 2 laptops, my purse, and my lunch bag, I step in the door and step down on the edge of the dump rug that is inside the door and promptly twist my ankle. I some how manage to only bang into the door a couple of times and to not actually fall down. As the day progressed, I twisted my ankle a couple of more times, and bruised the ball of my foot when I stepped on a stone and didn't have any sort of real padding between my foot and the ground other than the thin piece of leather sole.

By the time I made it home, my arches were aching and my twisted ankle was swollen and while I may be overly dramatic regarding the conspiracy that my shoes have against me, I can only imagine what could have happened.

Today I opted for the lavender suede mules. They seem much nicer than the leopard heels, but we'll just have to see....