We Don't Need No Stinkin' Rules

As many of you are probably aware, I'm a rule follower....at least most of the time. Case in point:

Yesterday afternoon I did my duty and I donated blood. Yes, it was the first time that I have done this and it turns out that it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be and I did survive. While I was in the resting spot eating some cookies before I went back to the office, I decided to actually read the Post Donation Instructions:

1. Keep your arm at rest, drink fluids, and eat snacks while you are resting. Make sure you feel fine before leaving the donation site.
2. Leave the bandage on for 4 hours. If the needle site bleeds, apply firm pressure over the bandage and raise your arm for 5 -10 minutes.
3. Drink plenty of fluids during the next 24 hours to replace lost fluids, and make your next meal a hearty one.
4. Do not smoke for 30 minutes.
5. Avoid alcoholic beverages for 24 hours.
6. If you feel dizzy, sit down and lower your head, or lie down keeping your head lower than the rest of your body. Do not drive until your dizziness subsides.
7. If dizziness or bleeding persists or if you have problems, call 1-877-xxx-xxxx.
8. Avoid strenuous lifting and/or pulling with your donor arm for 24 hours.
9. Occasionally a bruise may develop. {Lots of words that I don't want to retype but talks about applying ice packs.}
10. We recommend that you wait 12 hours before operating heavy machinery, driving buses or cabs, climbing scaffolds or ladders, scuba diving, sky diving or lifting weights, and 72 hours before working as a member of a flight crew.

My thoughts while reading:

1. I can do this. Would it be bad if I grabbed another package of cookies?
2. Not a problem. I can leave this puppy on all night...shoot it is starting to itch....
3. I really wish I had grabbed a bottle of water before I sat down. These cookies are really dry....
4. Not a problem. If I were to smoke, it would take me at least that long to find somebody to bum one off of and then to walk off campus...heck, not even worth me considering this one.
5. Hmmm, I'm supposed to meet The Queen at Chuy's after work, I think I can be strong and not drink (BWAHAHAHA....that did not work.)
6. Not really dizzy so much as nauseous....ah well, I can kill a couple of minutes with my head on my desk....ahhhh, much better.
7. Nope, no problems, don't need to call.
8. Oh shoot, I'm supposed to work out with my trainer in the morning...better text him and tell him I can't life weights so that he can rework the workout (which he did and killed me with a total lower body workout).
9. Woo Hoo!! No bruise....can barely even tell I was poked.
10. Dang it, there go my big plans for the evening to go sky diving and then scuba diving. Does driving a carpool equate to driving a cab....